This is going to be some brutal honesty, so if you can not handle it turn away now! I am trying daily to make strides cleaning out my house. Now let's understand first there is a difference in "cleaning out" and "cleaning up". Cleaning out means it may be safer to look inside my closet rather in the middle of the floor! It is amazing the mess that is required to truly to clean out.
Yesterday I decided to work on my bedroom. I saw this neat idea on HGTV to raise your bed 6 inches, making the room look airy and bigger. I knew I needed to get some things out from under my bed anyway so I raised my bed 6 inches! I was so ashamed. There was so much dust and junk under my bed. I knew there were things stored under there but I found TRASH! Receipts, gum wrappers, pacifiers, socks, and kleenex were in great abundance. I am not sure if I had dust bunnies but I know I had dust dragons! I really put my Rainbow to work!(for more information on the Rainbow call me or email...you can't blame me for trying I need some leads!)
Last night I was exhausted...I thought maybe we aren't supposed to go...this is too hard and this is just the start we have so many miles to go! There is more to be done than I can do!! Maybe it is just not worth the effort. I wanted to cry. I just wanted it all to go away. I don't want to be strong anymore.
Then God thumped me.
I was reading a little bible study I have been working on and read this:
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a very little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
Hebrews 10:35-39
Don't you just love when God swoops in to the rescue like that! It is at moments like this that even in my semi-clean room up on my really high bed I just wanted to break loose with a little shoutin and praisin! He really does know what it is taking to do what we have been called to do and He cares! Just like any child, I just needed some positive reinforcement! Continue to pray for us as we continue to be confident in our calling!
1 comments:
I'm sitting up tonight anxious again: ) I thought the exact same thing you wrote as I drove home from the teacher's meeting. I just wanted to quit. My confidence, gone... my will to do it, disappeared. Teaching this class is bigger than me and I just didn't think I could do it. Thanks for sharing that verse. I'm glad I checked your blog tonight. I am praying for you all. Pray for me: )
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